Monday, January 3, 2011

Forgetful

So this blog. I've forgotten how to use it. What to write?

I could write about work, but you might think of me as this negative, miserable person, with green skin and a black pointy hat. I'm beginning to wonder if that's how my co-workers picture me. Twice in the past two weeks, I've had other nurses on my floor ask me if I like working there.

uh, NO.

But I can't say that. Especially at work. But it's obvious. The care for patients is often substandard. In Delaware we complained about being short staffed. But that wasn't necessarily an every day occurrence. However, that's every day at my hospital.

So again, I'm going to try and keep work out of my blog.

Things to focus: running. cooking. reading. and maybe pictures (I'm nowhere near photography).

This morning was first longish run in about 4 weeks and I'm working on my way to feeling (and looking) human again. Hopefully a new recipe for dinner (not yet sure what I'll make...), a new book to read (my first) on the Kindle, and maybe a picture of dinner with the hot camera.

The camera is so hot and so intimidating. I just look at it. Too much to handle. I'm desperate for a book on how to use it. Clearly, the camera doesn't make the picture. Any suggestions for a good website or book?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolute

Resolution #1: To actually use this thing called a blog.

For real.

To make it something better than wasted space.

Because between a hot D-SLR, a Kindle, and a Longchamp bag, there is a lot I can do with this thing called blog.

But first....I need to quit whining (& make life my bitch-work was bad BAD BAD today) and finish reading my book (Devil & the White city). (great book...you're doing yourself a disservice by NOT putting it on your 'to be read' list and ACTUALLY READING it).

stay healthy, stay out of the ER, and enjoy your loved ones. Till Monday-

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dirty Little Needle

A few days ago, at work, I was administering insulin to a patient who is known to have hepatitis C.

I was giving the patient the insulin in the arm when I felt something sharp in my left hand.

Somehow I had stuck myself with the dirty needle.

It's bad enough to have stuck myself with a truly filthy dirty needle, but it was as if my employer had no idea how to handle the situation (that's another story).

Mentally, I'm a mess. The data is overwhelming, and maybe because I'm such a mess, I haven't dedicated a lot of time to doing any serious research. Since I was never given the opportunity to speak to a doctor at my facility (I work a hospital for goodness sake!), I called the base. Then I called the base ob/gyn.

This was going to be the year to get pregnant. (Serendipitously, the day after the exposure, I received in the mail my referral for a fertility doc off base.)

The ob/gyn nurse on base called right away, spoke to the doctor, and called me back within a half hour. The verdict: "no baby making for 6 months. Practice safe sex. Use a condom. I'm so sorry and good luck."

Information on the internet is confusing; the CDC's website has my head spinning.

Statistically there is a 1.8% chance of seroconversion.

The CDC states that health care providers exposed to HCV (hepC) don't need to take special precautions to prevent transmission during the follow up period (6 months). While I 'should' (i.e. won't) be donating blood, plasma, etc in the next few months, the CDC states that the exposed person (me) does not need to modify sexual practices OR refrain from becoming pregnant.

HUH?! but the doc on base said otherwise....

I think I also read that 5 out of 100 babies are HepC+ when born to HCV moms.

Maybe the CDC says I don't need to refrain because the combined factor of 1.8% chance to seroconvert and the 5/100 odds.

But still. I wish I was in school again and could talk to someone about all this (better yet, I wish I could go back to Wednesday night and redo that insulin shot).

I'm doubt that I'm even interpreting all the information correctly (there's a 1.8% chance, but a range of 0%-7% to seroconvert....what does that mean??)

For now though, I sit and wait. My blood will be drawn again at the 6 week, 12 week, and 6 month mark. And I will sit with my fingers crossed, hoping.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Recovery & Splits

Who doesn't love negative splits on a run? This morning's five miler was a perfect example of 5 negative splits. It goes without saying that it was a good, strong run; I felt myself getting faster without trying, and by the last mile I just ran with it.

I can't exactly say the same thing for marathon weekend...But I'm still pretty happy with my overall performance (especially when compared to last year's marathon). My slowest mile was at mile 2 (battling crowds of walkers) and my last mile was faster than the first few miles.

The splits:

5K: 31:51
10K: 1:03:45
15K: 1:34:17
20K: 2:04:21
HALF: 2:11:09
25K: 2:33:57
30K: 3:04:57
35K: 3:35:54
40K: 4:07:41
Finish: 4:21:28

Not sure how-or why-I did so much better than last year. The last half was in April. In the meantime, there was mild surgery (x2!) and a move from cool, breezy Delaware to hot & humid Florida. Training started late, and when compared to other marathon runners, I certainly wasn't ready to even begin training (nor was I training enough). For some reason, I barely ever averaged 30 miles a week.

As for recovery....well, what recovery? Last year, I remember running 2 miles about a week after the marathon: a long and painful 20 minutes. This year, my first post race run was with the running club; a 5 miler that I ran without difficulty. At first I thought it was a fluke, but I ran 3+ with the Tuesday running group and then this morning's early solo 5 miler.

Going back to work on the Tuesday following the run was helpful. Nothing like walking the halls of hospital floor for 12 hours to stretch out the legs. Speaking of which...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The adjustment of moving from a large teaching hospital to a small, private, for profit hospital has been quite the challenge. More often than not, I come home in near tears. I didn't come home in tears last night, but I did leave 30 minutes late. And still, as I was laying in bed getting ready to fall asleep, I suddenly remembered two things that I forgot to complete before leaving work. It's got to get better.....

Four

just worked my second set of twelve hour shifts without coming home and crying.

That's four tear free work days.

I hope I can keep this up!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

23 minutes

Just barely over a week ago, I packed my bags, headed to the airport, landed in DC, got lost in DC, attended the Marine Corp Marathon Race Expo, saw many sanity rally signs, picked up my hubs from the airport, had a wonderful day in historic Alexandria, dinner with a friend, and then, ran Marathon Number Two.

The difference between Marathon Number 1 and Marathon Number 2? About 23 minutes....


4:21:28

(Last year's time was 4:44:something)



Elated? You bet! Bear with me while I try my hand at a weekend recap/race report....


The night before was a semi-early pasta dinner with a friend who was stationed at our previous base. He, his brother and brother's wife and my hubs met up at a smallish, very crowded Italian restaurant at 5:30 and thankfully we were seated by 6:00. Between catching up, the conversation was obviously heavily marathon and running related. I was worried...while they were nervous, I had a kind of "eh, whatever" attitude, although deep down I was a tad nervous. I had my schedule changed, people at work, the running club, and friends all knew about the run, but the money thing was what got me....two plane tickets, 3 nights at a marked up hotel, plus a rental car. Oh, and my husband's boss knew that the hubs was taking a day off to watch me run.


No pressure.


Pasta dinner, goodbyes and good lucks, and we were off, but I was worried the hotel wouldn't have enough food for breakfast, so off to find a grocery store. In true fashion, we drove 30 minutes to get over-priced cereal at CVS (only to grocery store less than 3 blocks from our hotel). But we also discovered a mall with a great Macy's, Nordstrom, and smallish Apple store. I was happy, even if I didn't buy a single thing. (no doubt, I thought of bribing myself with an iPhone if I completed the marathon...)


Surprisingly, I got a decent night's sleep (read the 'whatever' attitude). Woke up, bagel, coffee, juice...walk to start line. we stroll...we're early. I gathered up the nerve to use the port-a-potty.


Then, I noted that the entertainment music was off. two fighter planes fly over. uhh....running late?


Quickly we start to head to the start line....cannon ball goes off. But at this point, we're at the back of the pack of the run, in the 6-7 hour corral. For some reason, only two lanes of the highway were being used to corral runners (last year it was 4 lanes), so I cut over to the open two lanes and cut into the pack, halfway between the 4:30 and 5:00 pace team (they weren't even moving yet...it ended up taking us about 20 minutes to cross the start line).


Obviously I wanted to finish the race, and would have been happy to beat my time from last year. My secret, unobtainable goal was to finish at 4:30. But not being an experienced runner, I just run. I have no specific laid out plans or strategy.


The race started rough. I don't mind those that are going to walk a marathon or even those that do the run/walk marathon programs. However, I quickly developed an issue with the sheer number of people walking at the two and three mile points. Shouldn't those who are planning on walking start towards the back of the pack, with the 5+ hour corral? It was crowded, and hard to get around people. I felt like I was running way slow, which I kept trying to tell myself was a good thing, but it was still frustrating.


Mile 2-3 were up hill (I forgot about that since last year). Mile 3-4 got especially crowded. Mile 5ish I had an untied lace(!), and finally, at mile 6 or 7 it began to clear a little. Mile 8 was a steep downhill mile and I was surprised at how many people slowed down. At the 4-5 mile point, runners are running along side runners who in the opposite lane/direction are running mile 8-9. I was sad to see that when I got to that mile 8-9 point, there was NOBODY running or walking mile 4-5. And I thought, man.....I'm really far back.....


At this point, I kept seeing the same lady in front of me, and I made her my pacer. I was going to keep her in sight. I was feeling good at this pace and figured while I was pushing myself, it wasn't unbearable.


Mile 9 was sticky with orange peels and at mile 10 I saw the a tall skinny pink balloon....my husband! We made a trade...I gave him my gloves, he handed me a Gu. After the trade, I heard him yell, "You're doing great!" And I felt like I was.....my pace was somewhere in the 10min/mile range.


I was headed towards Hain's Point, Miles 11-16, which last year was rough. The crowd of spectators thin until it's just runners. This year? Maybe I knew what to expect, but it wasn't as bad, and as I approached mile 13, there was some good music with a person on a stage who had a microphone; she saw my name and was calling it out. I looked smiled, waved, hand in the air. I was a rockstar, if for only 3 minutes. I passed the 13.1 point, saw my watch and wasn't positive, but thought the time looked decent for at least meeting last year's old time. Another mental boost!


Leaving mile 15 I stated looking for the pink balloon, saw it, high fived the hubs and said, "I'm hungry!"


Mile 16 is one of the best miles because of all the spectators. You're running around the Lincoln Memorial, past the Vietnam Memorial, along Constitution Ave. You see the White House. You run past the Washington Monument. Along the National Mall until you see the Capital Building. You run in front of the Capital Building, you get awesome pictures, head back along the mall, and the crowds begin to pick up. Nearing mile 20 I spied the pink balloon, removed a Gu from my Spri belt, and gave my hubs my sleeves and belt. He had a HUGE bottle of water, which I took from him, yelling, "Let's go!" and he jumped on the course with me as I took a sip of water and poured some over my head (it was fun to see him smile and laugh on the course). The entertainment at this point was a pretty sweet drumming group. Again, the hand was up in the air....


And then, the bridge.


Last year, I began to die on this bridge. Last year there was a grim reaper with a sign that said, "The end is near." There are hardly any spectators on the bridge leading to Crystal City. I was dreading the bridge and what was beyond the bridge.


But this year, I was ok....I pictured where I was on my long runs at home with "only 6 miles left to go" I saw a gal holding a blow up doll, which made me smile and laugh (and I later learned the meaning behind the blow up doll). I started to get tired. I came across a man running, whose left upper and lower extremities were prosthetics. I ran behind for a little bit. I couldn't believe it.


How could I be tired?


Motivated, my energy came ba

ck. I made it to Crystal City. Last year, at Crystal City, I began to lose some serious steam. I was hurting. I was barely moving. It was the longest two miles ever. In fact, my memory of crystal city was that it was 4 or 5 miles long. It was so bad a marine at the fluid station starting yelling my name and ran a couple of steps.


This year I entered Crystal City, grabbed my drink and kept going.


Because you know, it was "only" two miles (and by two miles, it's one mile out (22-23), another back (23-24). And here's where I looked at my watch and realized, I'm REALLY going to beat my old time.


Mile 24-25....hardly any spectators. virtually none. But at this point I was so happy. We all were....we can almost see the end. I was tired, but I had steam. And I saw my watch and thought, "OH MY GOODNESS. I am really really really going to beat my time." And just like that, the energy level came right back.


Mile 25....Pure happiness. I was finishing (alive, too). I felt strong. I was passing people (true, some were passing me, but I'm all smiles). I was happy to be running and not walking.


Mile 26, I saw the pink balloon. I'm smiling, hubs is smiling. I had my hand in the air. People were calling my name, people were cheering...for me, for everyone. I crossed the finish line.


I didn't pass out. I'm breathing, my chest felt ok. I went off to the side for a minute where I heard myself wheezing, and thought, "ha, I think I'm having an asthma attack" (I don't have asthma). I recovered. I got in line for the medal.


And......this is what kills me with ever marathon and half marathon. I can't just stand around in a crowded line after running for over 2 hours. I finally got my medal,

bypassed the photographer (they are always terrible photos anyways). I sat. A super nice marine gave me a large bottle of water. I sat some more & recovered. I get up to go through the food and beverage line, got some more water & Powerade, but somehow missed the food line.


Found hubs....happy, no tears. stretch. and holy moly, my time. I was elated; overjoyed, and like a little kid, could not stop talking about the run.


And ridiculously hungry!


For the second year in row I didn't go to the 'after race party' I don't like being in crowds, plus I was so hungry I really didn't want to pass out. The only food I saw being sold was of the hot dog and chicken finger fare....not what I wanted to eat. We walked back to the hotel. I had the most painfully cold ice bath, hot shower, coffee, food....rested, stretched, foam rolled. My husband took a nap(!), caught up with family on the phone. That night we met up w

ith another runner from the running club who ran the race. I had two beers....we walked back to the hotel (already better...last year I couldn't walk the one mile back to the hotel from the restaurant and had to take a cab). And, like just like last year, a shot of tequila to celebrate and

numb the pain.


I slept like a baby. And just like a baby wakes in the middle of the night crying, I woke at 3:30

with cramped legs. Who says marathon running isn't full of fun?


Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Difference Between Here and There

There: Last year I trained for and ran a marathon. Co-workers were curious, and yes, called me crazy. MDs were curious and would talk to me about their running, their training, their races, their race memories, their family running, and how great it feels to run and/or exercise (swim, bike, etc).

Here: This year I trained for and ran another marathon. Cardio-Thoracic surgeon finds out (via other RN) that I ran a marathon and says, "What?! You? Why would you do that? You could die doing that."