beat

The past couple of days I had it pretty easy at work. And at the start of yesterday's shift, I only had 3 patients (although two open beds left open the possibility to be slammed with two admissions). Because the census was so low, there was a shuffling of patients and nurses (I think some were canceled) and I ended up with five patients:

Patient 1: peg tube, trach, vegetative state due to traumatic brain injury, etc. complete care, turn every two hours to prevent skin breakdown.
Patient 2: quadriplegic needing pain management and to be turned every two hours.
Patient 3: transfer from surgical critical care unit. needs to be turned every two hours.
Patient 4: pt needs assist of two to get up out of bed. Pain management; Thankfully turns self.
Patient 5: needing pain management, IV antibiotics, thankfully, patient can get up by himself.

Thankfully, by the time I transferred one patient (not listed) and got patients number 2, 3, and 5, most care had already been completed (dressing changes, etc). If I remember right, admitting diagnosis for patients (in no order): wound infection, cellulitis, pneumonia, GI bleed, Cancer, rule out goat. The other days I also had pulmonary embolism, cellulitis, and worsening pneumonia in an immunosuppressed patient.

Reason I mention this? A friend, who desperately wants a job in shock trauma/critical care is working at a small community hospital on a medical floor. She enjoys some of the people she works with, but is bored at work. She feels like she isn't being challenged and she states she knows how to care for pneumonia and congestive heart failure like no other.

I heard this and thought, "wow, I suck." I still question myself (and ask others a ton of questions). I've had some CHF patients. I've had my share of pneumonias. But last night I realized, I don't have those patients every day.

While I sometimes dislike the field of nursing I am in (medical, which is pretty broad as you can see from my the patient profile I've had the last few days), I can't help but think, "wow...I am seeing A LOT." still might not know a lot, but I'm learning. Sounds silly, but writing this out, despite the amount of complaining we all day on our floor, it's pretty damn cool that we see so much!

26.2-FINALLY!

Can I just say how HORRIBLE I am about updating this blog? So where to begin?

Pre Marathon Week:

horrible. tear filled stressful week. My schedule was a mixture of days and evenings and parts of my left leg were really beginning to bother me. I was supposed to work Friday evening before the marathon, which meant I wouldn't have gotten to bed until 1am. Lucky for me, I asked the charge nurse to cancel me and got it. I went to bed around 10pm. Which was good because on Saturday....

Marathon Eve:

Drive to DC. Cold, rainy, windy day. We found the expo, found parking(!) and completed race pick up. It was my first marathon expo so of course I wanted to see everything there. I picked up a jacket, which according to my husband looks like a Michael Jackson jacket (red & black with elastic around the wrists. I heart 80s). We left the expo to eat lunch and the went back to the expo to see all the ridiculous goods for sale. The expo was packed and I didn't get anything except a magnet for my car (the original magnet got washed off in a drive thru car wash). I think I'm officially over the expos though...There really wasn't anything there that I just had to have (except the jacket).

that night was a yummy carb loaded pasta dinner at my friend's aunt & uncle's house and then an attempt to fall asleep. THAT never happened. the entire night was spent tossing and turning.

Marathon Day: I finally got out of bed at 4:45. the hotel had a ridiculously expensive breakfast cafe ($7 for cereal!) so i got a bagel, juice, and coffee & the starbucks kiosk. Ate upstairs. Got ready. packed a ton of Gus (most of which i did not use). My husband and friend had signs and balloons (a palm tree and margarita) and we left the hotel around 7:10 to walk to the start.

There were tons of people walking to the starting line. I was literally skipping I was so excited. Runners dressed as hot dogs. One was putting on a mask of the last VP (I told him if he was behind me I would definitely run the whole way).

Run:

I had to climb over the barricade to get into the runners section. I was somewhere near the 4:45 group. My ultimate goal was to finish. I wanted to break 5 hours, and my training plan said I would run it in 4:40. I thought it would be cool to finish in 4:30, but knew that wasn't reasonable. the start cannon shot at 0800. and my lane of runners was standing still. and still standing. The other lane was beginning to itch forward. We were still. eventually we started running and I crossed the start line around 8:15.

I saw my husband and friend (and balloons!) to the left. And if I could have, I would have cartwheeled. The first few miles went through parts of crystal city. At Mile Two I started thinking, "Damn. I am TIRED." not running tired, but sleep deprived i am coming down with something tired. I think mile 3 started on the parkway and it was a pretty wooded area. People were so funny! A will Ferrell wann-a-be was hilarious. I found my groove around mile 4 or 5, just before crossing the bridge into Georgetown. Georgetown was where I did my first gu between mile 6 and 7. I saw a friend (what are the chances!) and ran with her and her friend through Georgetown and into dc.

At Mile 10 we were getting back into DC near the monuments and I saw my husband and friend (those balloons were AWESOME). I was jumping like a female version of will Ferrell. I obviously got a high and sped up. I didn't know it, but we were entering an area called Haine's Point, which is very pretty, but with hardly any spectators. I was still feeling pretty good and I left my friend because I felt like I could push a little more. through the 1/2 way point. Leaving Haine's Point and entering mile 15/16 I began to feel tired. I saw my husband and friend again and said (with a big grin on my face), "I'm getting tired!" Husband's response? "Keep running!"

I vaguely remember mile 16. I remember the people and seeing part of the Lincoln memorial, but I don't remember how we got around it (the back? the front of the monument?) We ran past the White House (but I don't remember running past the Vietnam Memorial). Ran past the Washington Monument. Ran behind some Smithsonian museums.

Now was I getting tired and super annoyed at the spectators crossing the street. Ran in front of the capital building and began to pick up some speed. ran back up the mall past the other half of the Smithsonians. Was really beginning to feel good again. Then there was a left turn and I saw my husband and friend again (totally unexpected! those balloons- again awesome!). Ran past some drummers and picked up speed while entering The Bridge.

The Bridge. Otherwise known as long lonely stretch where runners started walking and spectators ceased to exist. The lone spectator?

I found the photo on the internet from another MCM runner

Yeah....funny, but I was losing humor at this point. I was just thinking, "This is STUPID. I am NEVER RUNNING AGAIN." I started hating life. But I refused to walk. Finally the bridge took us into Crystal City. At the water station a Marine giving me my drink started yelling my name loudly and over and over again with urgency. RACHEL! RACHEL! RUN RACHEL! GO!

I must have looked pretty crappy for him to do that for me. I tried to pick up speed but couldn't. still refused to walk though.

Crystal City was the hardest part of the run. I lost a full minute per mile for miles 22-25. It was an out and back so the faster runners were running in the opposite direction. With ever corner I saw, i thought, "Ah! The turn around is RIGHT THERE!" (it never was...only once...)

At mile 24 I started to feel better. Holy crap, I've done this! Mile 25 I was BEAMING ear to ear. I did it! I saw my husband and friend at mile 26! Those balloons again! I "sprinted" up the final hill with my arms up above my head and finally, after running for an agonizingly long 4 hours, 44 minutes, and 16 seconds, I crossed the finish line.

Post Marathon: Could not walk. Stopped twice in the crazy mass of people trying to get their medals and food etc to sit. Ate half a bagel and drank some water on the second sitting break. Finally made it out of the fence and attempted to walk to meet my husband and friend but my left groin/inner thigh area hurt so badly (it was bothering me the week leading up to the marathon) that I could only take baby steps. Husband saw me, came walking towards me. Hugged me and I cried (with no tears), "I....can't...waallaaalllllk!" I can't walk! I hurt! I never want to run again!"

Riiiight. 10 minutes later, after some stretching, I was wondering how to register for NYC 2010. I slipped on some flip flops and commenced the 2 mile walk to the hotel (HUH? they expected me to walk two miles after running 26.2? funny, the three of us said the same thing with different meanings....husband was like, "of course! you ran 26.2 you can walk 2!" it was probably good for me. Later, an ice bath a hot shower which DID NOT WARM ME UP. Hot Tea. Foam Roller. Ah, foam roller, what would I do with you?? Sam Adams, Burger, Kahlua Brownie and ice cream. A taxi ride back to the hotel (I walked to the restaurant but was too stiff to walk back). And the best way to end the night? Some good ole golden tequila.

Aftermath: So I still want to run another marathon, ideally NYC. Mainly because I want to run the next marathon better. Especially since I have a better idea of what to expect and how to better train. I averaged 20-30 miles per week and would like to up that. Seeing my husband and friend with the balloons to easily spot them was great. I saw them at the start, 10 mi, 16 mi, 20 mi, and at the 26 mi point. It's a great course for spectators because they were able to walk to all those points. With the exception of miles 22-24 (the crystal city area), the race is NOT a circle. there are no repeats of the course so runners don't feel like they are repeating any part of the course. And about those spectacular spectators. I put some giant iron-on letters on my shirt spelling out my name. SO many people yelled out my name. For the first half of the race, i felt like a rock star. (the last half I felt like they were truly helping me out). I can't imagine running that long WITHOUT hearing and seeing people cheer me on. I've since gone on two slow and easy 2 mile runs. I went to the gym yesterday and will probably go for a run today before work. if i ever finish this blog post (are you still reading? you deserve some kudos for that my friend...) next race? to be determined....

This Seemed Like a Good Idea 6 Months Ago...

6 months ago I gave my cc # to a friend to register me for this event.

What the hell was I thinking? At that time, I hadn't even run my first 1/2 marathon and I was signing up for a FULL marathon? I know what I was thinking: "I can always defer! It's not like I'm 100% committed or anything...."

I ran the 1/2 and thought, "well that wasn't so bad..." slowly I began training for the marathon. Then training began to take over. Go out Saturday night? sure...but I would have to be home early so I can run 16 miles on Sunday, etc. When I got to those 16+ mile runs I hit my first wall. Always at 16.

But when I attempted my first 20 miler, I broke through my wall, and oh, what a feeling!

Ice baths, some more runs, and now, here I am, with less than day 2 days, 21 hours until I will start a 26.2 mile journey to insanity.

And here I am thinking "this seemed like a good idea 6 months ago..." On my 12 miler just over a week ago I nearly fell on my run. darn sidewalk just jumped out at me! and since then I've felt this portion of my left leg saying, "DUMB ASS!"

literally, it's saying that. it is a dumb ass. that area where the thigh meets the butt? on my left leg? funky feeling. left groin? funky feeling. left knee?! FUNKY FEELING! I am popping motrin and ice bags galore to the left leg. I will get through this run. Not just because I've come this far, but because I worked my tail off. I've ran 20 miles twice (well nearly...19.9 should equal 20). I've switched weekends so I could run this weekend. My running gal pal is flying up to see me run. My floor plus other nurses, doctors, PAs, etc know I'm running this.

I will run this race.

Now, time to pack my bag.

funk a di funk funk funk

Marathon is in 10 days. TEN DAYS.



and I'm in a funk. self pity rant ahead....

I should be psyched, but I think I'm psyching myself out.

I tripped and nearly kissed the ground on Monday. ankle pain is gone, but yesterday I did 5 miles and afterwords, my left GROIN area and the back of my left thigh where it meets the butt was aching (a littler over a year ago we were hiking and I fell...ever since that fall, I tend to have mild discomfort in that area where the thigh meets the butt).

I stretched. Last night I put on some tiger balm. Today, I'm supposed to run 2 (my schedule is a little off, I know), but it's 44* and drizzling outside. I'm sitting on the couch in pajamas with a warm cup of coffee (not my favorite mug, since on Tuesday I BROKE my favorite, handmade mug purchased on same hiking vacation as mentioned above).

And my toe. My left big toe nail has been bothering me. I took off the nail polish and sure enough....there's a bit of black in the toenail. I'm not sure if this is from the running or from the oh-so-sexy support hose that I started wearing to work.

And I can't help but thing, "Greeeattt...friends & family know I'm planning on running 26.2. Co-workers are expecting me to run 26.2. I worked so hard to get people to switch weekends with me so that I could run (and not work). AND a friend is flying up to see my run 26.2." and all this! Is it mental? I hope. Because I woke up with a scratchy throat today, too.

This is sounding like a terrible, horrible no good very bad week! Let's hope I get some good vibes soon!

Down Down Down

It's taper time! Yesterday I was supposed to do a 12 miler, one of the last long runs before the big 26.2. Except I was working yesterday from 7-3, and for some reason that I've yet to figure out, I can't run more than 6 miles in the afternoon. My GI system goes crazy at mile 6 and while I can get through the 6+ mile runs in the afternoon, the rest of the afternoon/night is spent in the fetal position sipping Pepto.

So I forwent the Sunday long run and woke up early this morning to get in 12. It was a great run. Started slow and easy, but picked up the pace for the second half of the run (I saw chickens on my run!). The Garmin beeped at mile 10 and looked at my watch and was happy with my pace. kept running. Started thinking "how cool, I'm running 12 and feeling great!" when BAM
BAM
BAM

I was THIS close to kissing the sidewalk. At that point in my run the shoulder of the road is next to non-existent, plus the road is pretty busy so I run on the sidewalk, which apparently needs to be fixed as half of the slabs are sticking up.

Pride hurt. Now the area of my left upper hamstring/butt cheek and left ankle are hurting. not cool.

Ice Ice Baby

A couple of weeks ago, Danica @ Chic Runner wrote a hilarious & detailed post about her ice baths.

When hubs was on his deployment this summer, I would also do my own version of an ice bath. Without the ice. I would sit in a tub of cold water. Not exactly an ice bath, but it was still super hard to sit in that water. When hubs came home last month and I did my first 20 miler, he 'surprised' me with a bag of ice.

Like Danica, I was already sitting in a bath of cold water when he poured the ice into the bath. Unlike Danica, I screamed and yelped so loudly that hubs tried to sush me as surely the neighbors would think something nefarious was happening. This has been happening for the last 3 or 4 weeks. Bath time is 15 minutes.

Yesterday I was on my own. the night before the run, I purchase and shoved 2 bags of ice into the freezer. Hubs didn't say anything about the TWO bags. He left early Sunday morning, I went about my run, came home, stretched, and started the bath. Sat in the bath.

Reached over the side for bag one. Poured it in and tried to not yelp. Then poured the second bag. Yelped and tried to control my breathing. tried to relax my legs. While trying to get all the ice out of the second bag, my sweatshirt got soaked in the bath. so much for trying to keep warm.

Now, usually after about 5 minutes of sitting in the ice bath, I can pick up my book and read a couple of pages. This ice bath was the coldest ice bath I've ever taken. I tried to keep wiggling my toes and moving my feet, but within minutes I noticed that my large left toe was turning a funny shade of purple/blue. After 9 or 10 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up with pins and needles in my feet. My entire lower body was bright red and goose-bumped. took a very warm shower and warmed up.

Later, when telling hubs about the ice bath he said, "2 bags? I always pour in just one."

Ahhh! Thanks for the heads up babe! :)

So Close!

Today was my 20 miler day. I've done 20 miles once before, about a month ago, and the hubs found me around mile 15 to cheer me on.

No hubs today as he's out of town.

Up early this morning, ate 2 slices of toast, drank some coffee, and evantually made it out the door.

Turned on the garmin and nothing. No beep. I pressed the power button again, and again, nothing happened. Funny because I had turned it on last night to upload some old runs and to give it a charge. The screen even said "charge complete" when unplugged.

Went back into the house and plugged the garmin into the computer and nothing. not even a sad face on the screen (the old macs used to do that). Great. Thank goodness for backing up your info. In addition to the garmin, I log my runs in runningahead.com and found that it took me about 3 hours 39 minutes to run 20 miles last month.

So finally, around 6:45, I made it out the door and began running. had to stop at home once to pee (how I'm going to do that on marathon day has yet to be determined). I ran and ran. my first gu was about an hour into the run, then about every 30 minutes.

You know when you find that happy pace? I had it today. i felt strong. My pace was good, and got slightly better throughout the run. there were parts where I felt myself slow down, but then I would pick it up right up.

Once back into the neighborhood I wanted to finish, but I was just at the 3 hours point. I'm so glad I pushed myself to go further. For the first time, I didn't feel like dying at the end. My feet hurt a little, but not like usual. At 3:30 I stopped and while feeling somewhat winded, I didn't want to die. I was able to walk.

Which naturally had me wondering if I really ran 20. After driving the run (no thanks to the dead garmin), the final mileage is in: 19.9. woot woot!

off the store to make a pasta picnic lunch :) 20 more days until 26.2!

Remember When

I remember the first time I ran 6 miles, I was pretty amazed. Me. run 6 miles? sheesh. that NEVER would have happened one or two years ago.

Than I had to run 9 miles. I remember dreading it. I remember thinking that 9 miles was a long run. But I've since learned or realized that 20 miles is a lot longer than 9 miles.

woot woot, yup, that's right.

20. miles. on foot.

after two horrible super long runs (kept hitting walls at the 15ish mile point), I made it through to 20.

not to say it was easy. I had to wake up before the crack of dawn. 3 miles into the run I realized I needed to use the bathroom so it was a quick run BACK home into the house before finishing mile 4. Somewhere around mile 14 I realized I was going to make it through. Not sure if it was the slightly larger breakfast, combination of water & and watered down Gatorade in the fuel belt, or the bits of Gu I snacked on (didn't eat all the Gu in the packets all the time). It could have been the new route (hello corn fields!). It also could have been the husband who found me near mile 15, providing cheer & encouragement.

I did nearly crash. for some reason I thought mile 16 was really mile 17 and the fact that I had FOUR more miles (not 3) was almost too much to bear. My last two miles were slow and painful. I probably should have opened another Gu around mile 18, but I just didn't want ANOTHER gu, especially since I was so close to home.

Immediately after the run it hurt to walk. it hurt to sit down & stretch. Within thirty minutes I started the bath and this time, instead of just sitting in cold water, we put a bag of ice in the tub. Windows were open. I can only imagine what the neighbors thought.

Sometimes I have to remind myself why I'm doing this. Still not totally sure. Marathon by 30 will probably guarantee arthritis by 30. That being said, at least I'll have good legs ;)

clothing dilema

ok. for the pick up, need What To Wear Advice (husband is coming for dinner, that's who!).

basic black (BCBG dress...which I think lost 70% of the fabric around the waist in the sale)

or

Mad Men meets Miami: high waisted leopard skirt with black tee & high waisted thick black belt.

I think I know which I'm doing. but need opinion.

Have other options, but one dress is too Mojitos in Miami and the other dress I'm pretty sure he will hate (too 70s, watercolor free flowing pregnancy hiding dress). (not pregnant!)

I could wear jeans and a top, but let's face it...he'll see all that soon enough.

What do you think?

Guess....

who's coming for dinner tomorrow night???

About Those Runs...

Since I was in college (maybe even in high school, who knows), I've always wanted to run a marathon. Not quite sure where the idea came from, but specifically, I wanted to run the NYC Marathon, which is held in early November. Unfortunately, I never seriously acted on it. My 'long runs' always ended around 3-4 miles.

Fast forward about 10 years and my long runs have moved into the double digits. This marathon training is now getting serious! A few months ago I ran my first half marathon. I remember training for it, and freaking out that I would have to run 7, 8, or 9 miles.

The half marathon came and went with a smile on my face and a general high that I remember clearly every morning when I wake and see the medal hanging on the dresser mirror.

My friend has since signed me up for a full marathon. And I've since begun freaking out about running 14, 16, and 18 miles. Now it's time to freak out about running 20 miles (next week!).

On my last two long runs (16 & 18), I've hit a wall at mile 15. I started to walk, and even had to sit before finding the energy at mile 16 to start moving in a way that resembled jogging. It wasn't pretty. (plus I was 3 miles from home. and I just wanted to get home).

I wear a fuel belt and I gu. First gu is usually an hour into the run. After that it's about every 45 minutes. The day i attempted 16 I only had water in my belt. This past week I used watered down gatorade (and that left me feeling like a I had a bloated belly full of sugar).

A few suggestions were given to me at the running store, but I'm looking for more. How do I avoid the wall at 15? I don't want mile 15 to be some sort of a mental block after all this training!

RIBA

RIBA: "Robot for Interactive Body Assistance"

It's innovative for sure, but I wonder where this will be used? the robot is designed to move someone who is less than 135 lbs. I imagine this might be useful at a pediatric hospital, but certainly not a hospital in the states.

When I think about the patients I cared for (a total of 7 different people throughout the week), only one weighed less than 135 lbs.

Thank goodness for ceiling lifts.

Danger Zone

This week, at one point in time, I had two obese (or morbidly obese) patients.

Another patient is "demented" (MD's word, not mine). The patient is dubbed a complete patient as she/he can not turn her/himself, feed her/himself, etc. She/he can, however, punch. Patient is highly combative.

Yesterday I got a new patient who is a heroin user. Last time using was sometime on the 24th (per patient). Heroin withdrawal begins to occur 48-72 hours after last use. And while the patient slept most of my shift, I think she/he was in the early stages of the withdrawal at the end of my shift.

I don't regret going back to school, and I don't regret the career I have chosen. Here's hoping I can leave work today with a healthy back and without a black eye.

Negative

Splits that is! Check this out...

Mile 1: 11:20
Mile 2: 10:37
Mile 3: 10:00
Mile 4: 9:47
Mile 5: 9:45
Mile 6: 9:08

honest to goodness, wasn't even trying (although around mile 3 or 4 I realized I had found a happy pace). to bed late & woke up at the ungodly time of 5:30 (no thanks to the cats). Humidity now is 88%..not sure what it was earlier this morning. Breakfast & the NY Times now, plus the Sunday Morning News Show. Then Julie & Julia and hopefully a post about yesterday's shopping excursion.

14

I ran 14 miles for my first time yesterday. and I survived. Sure I felt a little loopy afterwards....(I missed out on an afternoon nap).

What I could have done in the time it took me to run 14 miles:

1. seen a movie

2. driven to Philly (and back)

3. driven to NY (as if I would want to drive back)

4. returned the $185 jeans that fit incredibly well (I did this AFTER the run. and am still somewhat depressed by the thought that they cost so much)

5. crossed off many many things on my mental 'to do' list

6. made love to my hubby. over and over again. That is, if he was home!

Ah, three more weeks and I'll be able to do number 6.

Wonder if the hubs would agree to a love in? thinking the answer would be a yes!

Catching Up...

Somehow, I forgot I had my own blog!

Best news: Husband is coming home soon :) It's about time...the cats are dying of loneliness and the yard is looking a little sad. Me? I'm missing talking and sleeping next to my best friend. Sure, I'm sleeping with the things I love (clothes and books have taken over your side of the bed hun), but things can't replace a living, breathing friend & lover.

Work has been...well, stressful I guess. I'm finally on my own, off orientation. For a while, I was gaining a reputation for all the RRTs I had. This week, I may have actually avoided an RRT. Hopefully some sort of nursing intuition is being to develop, although no doubt it will take a few more months to kick into gear. I'm still asking a ton of questions, probably to the annoyment of the other nurses. Not sure I've found my niche quite yet, but getting there. It's incredibly stressful and at times, a little scary.

Running....is getting HARDER. I'm going to try for 14 today. in fact, I better get moving or it'll be rained out! wish me luck...

Which Belt?

Not to be specific, but I "need" a 3 1/2 inch brown belt. Preferabbly one that is braided (small braids) and tiny buckles.

I have this great 'vintage' Lily Pultizer dress that I've had for a few years but have never worn. Today i pulled it out and then thought, "BELT!"

I belted it with a black version of the belt described above and the dress went from 'eh' to 'SWEET.'

Which belt do you think I should pick? I hate to pay all this $$$ for a belt, but it IS something that I would use, the quality looks good, and the dress was practically free and I already have shoes and a purse....

It's either from Anthropologie or BlueFly. (sorry for not posting pictures...I couldn't get a picture from the BlueFly to load.) I've never ordered online from either store. I LOVE anthropologie and their belts are really nice. But the belt from BlueFly might be more up my alley. Maybe I should order both and return one? What do you think?

Third Time's a Charm

Officially off orientation right?

Day 1: RRT

Day 2: RRT + patient with critical lab value

WTF?! I broke down in a fit of tears yesterday afternoon (at home). I did not want to.go.back.to.work.

I'll be the first to admit. I was scared. The little confidence I had was lost.

Day 3: NO RRT! FINALLY.

Granted...there was still another critical lab value, but it was taken care of; handled, and hopefully solved.

Here are some more fears: Am I forgetting something? what if I'm not thinking ahead? what if I'm leaving the next nurse with a mess/black hole? I begged the nurse following me to let me know if she had any issues that i could have addressed on my shift prior. Any sort of thing that I could have done so that she wouldn't have an issue on her shift. She told me not to worry about it, but I do not want to be that nurse that people dread following.

That, is a goal i'm setting for myself, and one that may be easier said than done.

Please tell me that it's going to get better...

Cutting the Cord

Today was my first day off orientation.

Yeah, I know. I've spent many, many weeks on orientation. More weeks on orientation than for any other typical new nurse on a med-surg floor (most orientations last 8-10 weeks; mine was around 12-14 weeks).

All my preceptors, friends, and co-workers told me that I was more than ready. It was really a matter of me believing in myself (isn't that always the case though?).

Last night, I had a weird dream that I was on the floor without a tech/assistant. At one point, I woke up in the middle of the night because "a patient' had a painful IV site, with an obvious case of phlebitis. Because (in my dream) his IV pole was so far away I told 'him' "don't worry, you'll be fine!" and went back to bed. (note...I don't doubt that I actually said this outloud. I have a habit of talking in my sleep when I'm stressed and tend to experience vivid dreams.)

I woke up this morning and said, "i'm Ok. I'm going to be Ok. this is going to be fine. I'm not doing anything new."

Got to the hospital ridiculously early. Received report at 0700. The night nurse left at 0730. at 0750 I had to call for a RRT, or rapid response team because in a matter of minutes, a patient had gone from being alert and oriented, sitting up, having an appropriate conversation with me, to shaking lips, quivering eyes, extremely difficult to arouse, and when he did speak, his speech was slurred.

I was off orientation for 50 minutes (30 of those minutes were for receiving report), and I began the day with a RRT. Bring it on. Hit me with your best shot. The day could only get better.

As far as I know, the patient is fine. Nobody is sure why his status changed so quickly and so drastically. I'm curious to see him tomorrow. The patient also ended up spending most of the day off the floor, so I really haven't had the chance to talk get his baseline. I can't say we did much for the patient. vital signs were stable, o2 sat was normal. who knows. I'm more than curious.

Hopefully tomorrow goes smoother :) No more RRTs.

I am...

....sexually deprived for your freedom.

Historic Half

It's still surprising to me that I finished a half marathon! Not even two weeks ago I packed an overnight bag and headed to Fredricksburg, VA to run in the Marine Corp Historic Half Marathon. I was in a bit of disbelief. I wasn't truly nervous yet...more excited to see my good friend Frances from Charleston and one of my college roommates.

After checking into the hotel and many hugs, Frances, her husband Scott, and I headed to the race expo to pick up my race packet. The expo was smaller than I expected, but none the less I managed to put a dent in my wallet. Two headbands ("virgin marathoner" and "will run for beer"), something called a spri belt, which is a glorified mini-fanny pack, and some car magnets. The spri belt was a great investment (held a mini-camera and some gus), and my only regret is that I didn't spend the extra dollar or two get a belt with race clips. The belt was extremely light, didn't bounce, and honestly the only time I thought about the spri belt was when I was reaching for my Gus. The car magnets are from the One More Mile booth. I LOVE this site...I have two shirts from them ("Will Run For Beer") and ("This Seemed Like a Good Idea 3 Months Ago...(the back says Race Official Do Not Pass" which was a hit with other joggers on the run!)) In true fashion, I was so excited to be there and with friends that I went overboard. I now have 4 magnets for my car:

I was only planning on buying one, but I found so many that I liked, and it was buy three get the fourth free. I held back from buying the "Will run for beer" magnet." (note...I'm not a big beer drinker, but there is something about drinking a beer after a good, hard run. Try it sometime time...you'll understand. I think I got Frances hooked after the half...)

Anyways...afterwards was lunch and then we drove the course. And oh dear G-d, what did I get myself into?! it didn't seem so so bad...a small incline over the highway at mile 1.5...a short steep hill at mile 2...And mile 10...I began to wonder how people drive up or down that hill in the winter when the roads ice over because honestly, it would have been a great hill for sledding. It was the longest 13.1 mile drive ever.

That night was dinner with my college roomie, a helicopter pilot who hasn't changed one bit! It was like we just saw each other yesterday, reminiscing on old stories and catching up. As it got closer to bed time, the freak out began. what the hell was I going to wear? the temperature was dropping and the rain was coming in. Weather.com showed 70% chance of rain at the start of the race, 60*....and both the chance of rain AND the temperature was to drop throughout the day. made me realize that my tank and shorts probably wasn't the best idea....

At 5am, we woke up to what looked like classic DE weather: HIGH WINDS. Honestly, the trees were practically sideways and it was raining. I psyched myself for the race saying over and over, "I've ran in high winds...I can do this..." At 6:45 we left the hotel (the hotel was literally at the race start). And then I started getting all giddy in the cold rain waiting for the race to start (wore the tank and shorts). And finally...

4000+ runners started running!

The first few hills weren't so bad, but we ran it so slowly. 11:30 pace slow. We began to speed up around the 3 mile mark, and again around the 6 mile mark. At mile 8 or 9 we began to slow it down a bit in preparation for the monstrous hill at mile 10 (we were actually passing quite a bit of people at this point). I Gu-ed around mile 5, mile 9.5, and then again after mile 10 (that third Gu probably wasn't necessary, but I did it anyways).

There were quite a bit of people in town cheering us on (impressive considering the weather was so bad). At mile 3 it finally stopped raining. At mile 6, the rain started and at mile 7 it was TOTAL DOWNPOUR. We started singing "running in the rain" to the tune of "singing in the rain." Whenever I saw a crowd of people and if I was feeling slow, I would yell "It's her birthday!" and point to Frances, who was wearing a "Birthday Girl" tee that she designed (it was her 30th bday). Just before mile 10 there was a band singing "Johnny B Good" and at the 'run johnny run' part we would sing 'run frances run' or 'run rachel run.' We were our own cheerleaders.

Mile 10 was intense but we ran the entire way up. We were so proud of ourselves! At mile 11 I thought, "I so have this...it's only 2 more miles! I can actually do this! I'm almost done! I am a rockstar!" It made me giddy...I picked up speed. But oh dear...what, ANOTHER HILL?! This when the third gu came out...everyone had used all their juice to get through mile 10 and that the tiny incline (an overpass) was daunting. People crashed. But there was no way that I was going to get this far and just walk. I got through it with the help of some gu and then...

MILE 12! ONE MORE MILE! This is mine....I TOOK OFF. Through out the run I was running at a cool & comfortable 10:30 pace. At mile 12, it was a 9:17 pace. Not exactly Kenyan-like, but not to shabby for a person who had been running 2+ hours.

My overall time?

Afterwards we got our medals and was met by Scott who greeted us with towels to dry us off and keep us warm (he had already finished the run, showered and changed). We got our coins (I have my own coin now!), some food (bagels!) water, and of course, beer.

Then stretching, HOT shower (probably not a good idea for the muscles, but we were so cold...and then a nap! A nice lunch, and then I had to make the three hour trek home. And yes, I wore my medal the entire way home.

I WILL post pictures of us once I receive them in the mail. The professional pictures taken along the run are GREAT. I'm smiling and waving in all of them and and we don't look the least bit tired (proof that we probably ran too slow...but I didn't want to kill myself on my first half). I'm probably going to order two photos...one of me crossing the finish line and a picture of Frances & me posing at the end of the run. Once I receive the prints I'll scan and post them :) (I would post personal pictures from the kid's camera that I purchase and put in my Spri belt, but the photos won't load. grrrr...)

It was the best best experience ever, and while I hate to discredit the intensity of training for and running 13.1 miles, I have to say (albeit quietly) it wasn't that bad! Running with a friend, the cool (rainy) weather, and the crowds cheering us on made it such that it wasn't possible to quit.

I jogged about 3 miles a few days after the run and can I say it was (mentally) SO MUCH HARDER than the 13.1 miles the previous sunday! This past saturday I ran a 5k and I just realized this morning (after checking some stats) that it was another pr (25:32). I haven't ran since saturday, but will go out for a jog today if not tomorrow. Next up? Marine Corp Marathon in October. Now I'm REALLY begining to think I'm insane...

half...

this is more of a half assed post about an awesome experience. I want to promise that I'll write more later this week, but we all know how I do with those blog promises...

So....here's the skinny on the run...and I swear, I will post more or revise this post, but for now I NEED to go to bed so I can have a semi-sane day tomorrow.

2:16:24 in the rain with hills.

Thanks for the well wishes...More later. For now, SLEEP!

This Seemed Like a Good Idea 4 Months Ago...

What did I get myself into....look what I'm doing this weekend!

Fingers crossed I can finish!

Coming up...

• posts about work


• post about new necklace


• post about newest (and best) 5k


• post about being not so pretty in pink

In the meantime, I'm off to run in my first 10k. runners, take your mark!

SHRIEK!

I shrieked today at work.

loudly.

I just couldn't help it.

I was in the fishbowl (area of station surrounded by glass, usually utilized for the MDs) when I happened to log onto a certain website that said: "Registered Nurse: Active"

I shrieked so loudly that another nurse outside the fishbowl jumped out of her seat.

Holy crap, I passed. I'm not sure how, and I'm hoping that it's not all an awful mistake (I've checked 3 times since learning that I'm now a licensed RN). For 27 hours after finishing the test, all I wanted to do was Thelma & Louise it off a cliff. Coffee, chocolate, and alcohol didn't help.

So anyways, It's official! There's still a lot to learn and I still feel incredibly incompetent at work (will that ever go away?). Thank you for the well wishes....maybe now I will start blogging more often :) No more questions to practice, no more chapters to review. What to do with myself now that I won't have to come home and answer 150 NCLEX style questions each night? I'm going to catch up on some reading and get ready for this and this.

hoping

my exam shut off at 75 questions today. I feel sick. I feel like puking. I feel like jumping off a cliff. Two of my classmates were at the exam, and we actually had some very similar questions.

We all answered them differently.

I've answered well over 2000 questions in preparation for this exam, yet I don't think any of those 2000+ questions helped me with the 75 questions I answered today.

I can't stand this wait and see period...

Oh boy oh boy

Boards on Monday.

Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!! here's hoping I rock it and not vomit or pass out :)

Wall

I'm afraid I'm hitting a wall! I'm trying to peel myself off this chair so I can run a measily 2 mile recovery run. But somehow...sleep...seems so much more attractive.

just two miles. about twenty minutes. Twenty minutes towards my fast approaching goal of 1/2 marathon.

I can do this. I mean...if I can run 8 miles, I can definitely run 2!

(sorry....sometimes I need to write silly things like this to make me realize how ridiculous I'm being about putting things off.)

New PR!

There are multiple times for yesterday's race.

The time posted online says 26:12.
The time posted on the board at the race said 26:11.

I thought I saw 26:09 when I came through the finish.

My intent was to start my watch when I crossed over the starting point, but because this race wasn't super organized, I'm not sure if I started my watch at the right point (there was no "START" banner. Instead there was an orange cone with a sign that said "start" at the side of the road). At the end of the race, I thought I stopped my watch, but had looked down at it after turning in my tag/number and the watch was still running at 26:20. The race obviously didn't provide chips and I didn't start at the very front of the pack. So there's not telling what the true time is.

BUT. Holy crap, I ran a 5k @ 26:12 or 26:11! My first mile was at 8:20!!

The race was all up and down hills. It was one of the toughest courses I've ran for a 5k and I can't get over how much I've improved over the past few weeks. And I haven't even been working on speed!! Just distance/endurance....

Some things that may have helped with time:
1. the weather. it was high 60s and NO WIND. That's almost unheard of here in this area. Usually I'm running in 30-50 degree weather with winds ranging anywhere from 8-20mph gusts. (I hate the high wind gusts. but I'd rather run a long run outside in the wind than inside on a treadmill)
2. the hills. Yeah running up was a pain, but running down hill had to help a bit, I'm sure.
3. After mile 2, I was running near a person who apparently had a team of trainers throughout the course! Every 1/2 mile or so someone would be yell at her to step it up, to keep it steady, to pass the girl in the green shorts, etc.

There was a free beer at the end. Along with greasy pizza (I passed) and delicious warm pretzels. No water bottles though. Instead, there were two people pouring water into tiny cups. (seriously, what was up with that??)

A fun, good way to start off the 5k season. I can't wait to run some more!!!

Overall placement: 195 out of 650+ runners & walkersDivision placement: 10th out of 69

First...

5K of the season is TODAY!

High is in the mid to upper 60s today...I haven't ran in anything above 50 degrees since fall, so this run might be tough for that reason. Oh, and there's that small matter of something called hills. ug.

But it's sunny out, blue skies, not a cloud in the sky. I'll have to wear shorts. (eeks!) Which is a perfect segue into today's race day strategy: start at the front of the pack, blind all those runners with my super white-out colored legs, and win! haha, right. probably more like middle to end of the pack for me :)

Although it doesn't matter because I hear there's a free beer for runners at the end. First place, last place, I'm just happy to go!

Of course I'm wearing this shirt. Except mine's in white. I'm liking the berry color better. Wish me luck!

tired

so tired. so tired I can't even write fun sentences to give updates...obviously work started. work, plus my study class = little sleep. I only worked an 8 hour shift, but I feel like so tired, so incompetent that I just want to sleep.

But instead
I will
get off my ass
and go for a run.

To clear my head.
and prep for the 1/2 marathon that
I'm unsure how I'll manage
to train for, now that
I'm working.
and studying.

Apologies for not commenting on fellow bloggers pages! I'm still reading through my feeder...although half the time I"m so tired I skim. One day soon I will return :)

More soon..

Very Difficult

I've been out of school, sitting on the couch for two weeks now and am begining to go CRAZY!

I really haven't been sitting on the couch (although I am now)...I've been studying for boards, going to my board review course (paid for by the hospital!), and even spent one very relaxing weekend up in the Green Mountains.

So about this blog title. My school of nu.rsing just this year started using the N*L*N to help students prep for boards. I finally figured out how to change the testing settings (it was giving me two chances to get the right answer!) and here's part of today's test results:

Total Points Raw Score % Score
Difficulty Level »Very Easy 3 2 66%
Difficulty Level »Easy 12 6 50%
Difficulty Level »Moderate 25 16 64%
Difficulty Level »Difficult 9 9 100%
Difficulty Level » Very Difficult 1 1 100%

Do you think answering all of the difficult and very difficult questions correctly was a fluke? If I had 25 difficult questions, would I have missed more? How exactly should I study for my exam? Unfortunately, when I reviewed the questions, the difficulty level was not included in the correct answer rational.

Fingers crossed that I keep better at answering these questions and pass!

Last Days

Today was the last official day of class....

Tomorrow is the last night of clinical...

Thursday is the last clinical conference....

and scariest of all....

FRIDAY IS GRADUATION!

Cracking the Whip

The hardest thing about finishing school is somehow losing all will power to tie the loose ends and just finish.

With graduation only a week away (Did you see that? ONE WEEK), I have four assignments to complete.

Four assignments to complete and submit via email between now and Sunday.

And I've sat in front of the computer tonight and nearly finished one of them and half heatedly started the second.

Oh....someone needs to get in me into gear....

Boom Chicka Bam Bam

Guess who finally got an IV into a patient today?

I 'bout peed my pants I was so excited. I wanted to break into a dance at the bed side, but contained myself.

So here's how a little back ground: Currently doing my rotation at a pediatric ED. On my first day (night?), my preceptor said, "Do you want to do the next IV?"

I was all, "Really?! I can do that?! You know I haven't ever done that...we never even learned or practiced or anything..." (for some reason they don't teach us how to start/insert IVs in nursing school)

She said it was fine...and then 'taught' me how to insert an IV. We each took an IV needle out of a package and practiced in the air. That' right. I didn't get any practice sticking a plastic arm or my nurse's arm.

Amazingly, on the first night, I actually stuck the patient and had blood return. But when we went for the blood draw, there was no blood collecting in the tube. Somehow I blew that line. And this continued for five or six days...I would stick someone and something would happen: the tube would kink, suddenly I would lose sight of the vein, the vein would roll, or the vein would collapse.

To my credit I always tried. One day, I was feeling down and when my preceptor asked if I wanted to start the line, she saw my face and how I was about to sigh and then she said, "Let's do it! It's a three day old!" (as if that was supposed to encourage me).

Most of the times that I failed, my preceptor would then try and have to get another nurse to get the line. That made me feel a bit better sometimes, but still...I was beginning to feel like I was the devil nurse out to terrorize little kids.

Yesterday, towards the end of the shift, a nurse took me to a room and let me practice starting the IV on her. For one, she taught me how to tie the tourniquet. She taught me about where to enter the vein. How to thread the line. Oh my gosh, she taught me exactly how to get the IV line! I tried once in her hand, once in her forearm, and finally, once in the antecubital space (inner elbow). The third time was a charm. I got it!

Now today, towards the end of shift, we had a teenager who needed a line. I set up my supplies. My preceptor this time stood on the opposite side of the bed (every other time she hovered over me) and holy batman I GOT IT!

I saw the blood return, I pushed in a bit futher, threaded the line, locked into place, taped down, removed needle drew blood, flushed the line and taped down. Truth: once I was in my preceptor helped me connect some of the extras to get the blood draw and helped with the taping down.

But still! I did it! On a patient! And yes, that was me hopping and dancing outside the patient's room in the hospital.

Rant

There's beena lot that I want to rant about lately, but I've decided that those things weren't worth ranting about.

However....if you know that I worked an over night twelve hour shift that began at 8pm and ended at 8am and you want to know the time A Place closes, please call That Place, not me. chances are they can give you the answer. And I can stay asleep.

Thanks.

Mixexd UP

This week was the first week of my final clinical! I'm at a pediatric ED and worked my first shift this past weekend. I love the preceptor & the site...I'm less thrilled about the shift: midnights.

And there's no doubt that midnight shifts screw up your internal clock. The day of the first shift, I woke up around 7ish, and then went back to bed from 11:15 till around 4ish. But I wasn't hungry when I woke up and never really had dinner (I snacked instead...probably a bad idea). By midnight I was so tired that I felt drunk before we took a break to eat (lunch? dinner? midnight meal?). After that it was smooth sailing until 5ish when we finally had a chance to sit down. And true...I didn't work the entire twelve hours.

My nurse is this amazing woman who has such an incredibly (and refreshing) positive outlook on life and her profession. The day encompassed a lot of shadowing, but...I got to try and start my first IV! (classmates response: are we allowed to do that?! I have no idea if we're allowed, but she offered and I jumped at the chance). While I got in at the first try, and even got some blood return, the blood stopped flowing and wouldn't flow into the tubes (we were also collecting blood). My nurse then attempted to start an IV on the same patient with the same result before calling for someone else to attempt the IV.

I learned and saw A LOT in that one shift. There are about 7 more shifts that I need to complete, and hopefully I'll be seeing, learning, and doing a lot more!

After the shift, I slept until 2ish before running errands and meeting up with some friends, getting home at 1:30am, and then waking up at 9:30. I can see how nurses (or anyone working a midnight shift) can gain weight, as I've been eating and sleeping horribly this weekend and still in my pajamas lacking the motivation to attempt a 4 mile run. The 20-something degree weather, clouds, and winds aren't helping either.

Oh, someone give me a good kick in the rear!

Vignette

In one month...

....put up a tree, awoke to a tree on the ground, picked up tree, accepted new job offer, signed paperwork for new job, opened presents, flew first class(!), visited family, celebrated xmas, stayed warm, drank tea, read books, shopped, flew home (econo class), visited more family, stayed home, was invited to sign up for a 1/2, debated on 1/2, postponed signing up for 1/2, spent New Year's with new friends, ate a Nu_tella sandwich at the start of the year (hope that's not a sign of weight gain to come), bought new shoes, bought more new shoes, finally bought cold weather running gloves, ran with new gloves and debated their effectiveness, saw a movie, shopped some more, went back to school, nearly missed being vomited on, turned in license application, put together presentation, presented presentation, got fingerprinted, went out for sushi, ran some more, signed up for 1/2, regretted signing up for 1/2, still ran some more, started class, ran some more, froze a bit....to be continued
:)