Real ASState

If Ryan's and my life was to be videotaped as a reality TV show, it would not be called Real World or My So Called Life. It would be called, "OH CRAP" or "What the FCUK?!"

It seems that almost NOTHING has gone smoothly since we've arrived in Delaware. Most already know about the first house. Through the first house though, we found a mortgage broker we were satisfied with.

So after we backed out of the first house, we found a second town home. Inspection-wise things were OK. It passed the radon test, but failed the carbon monoxide test (Do I need to write another blog about my first impression of DE being a cancer state?). I'm apparently attracted to houses that have deadly gases...maybe a certain someone in a large white home should bomb DE for weapons (gases?) of mass destruction (if by mass destruction we're talking about the population of one of the smallest states in the country). Good thing the Carbon Monoxide levels CAN be fixed-don't ask me how, but if I end up mysteriously dead in a town home... (Ryan will probably make me delete these last sentences...)

So back to our real ASState problems. Our lender could NOT meet with us on Friday because "things this way are crazy, we'll meet next week." (There was a race going on...Dover's population is around 30,000....150,000 people come into Dover to watch the race...that's ANOTHER story.) For all I know, he was probably AT the race, or at least camping out with the others...

We didn't end up meeting with the man until Wednesday morning at 9:30. Ryan and I arrived at 9:25. The man is not ready. He comes into his office (after we already sat down in his office) and starts cleaning up his desk. Then he proceeds to talk numbers. Mind you, Ryan had already told the man the address, city, price, settlement costs paid by seller, etc. The man is TYPING THINGS IN while we are there to get us to sign (basically, he had done next to nothing to prepare). Everything he prints out is wrong. The house address....the city...the county....the settlement costs...after 30 minutes of this garbage, I'm tired and Ryan is mad. The man is beginning to remind of the character from Jurassic Park that was played by the same actor who played Newman on Seinfeld.

He tried to get us to sign something, 'just to have on file, nothing binding"...which I believe were commitment papers. Papers that were naturally wrong. So wrong that I am listed as a "White Male." we signed NOTHING.

And ran...

To a bank....it was so normal....we made a phone appointment, I spoke to the man that afternoon, gave him our info, met this morning to look over the paper work, and not only was the information ready in a folder (with our own copy set aside), the information was RIGHT.

What a concept.

But wait, there's more...Did I mention how the real ASState agent didn't want to use a contract with for the county that the new home is located in? And I forgot to also mention that she just couldn't refer us to a real estate attorney in that county since she doesn't ever work there.

I'm thinking of either writing a book about my experiences. Unfortunately, our little adventure isn't over yet...we close on the 27th (PUHHHLEASE keep your fingers crossed for us)...AND we haven't even received our household goods yet (duh).

With our luck, the household goods are floating to Japan.